Stop! You’re scaring the children!
We all have our own means of coping in times of stress. There are healthy coping strategies, like exercise and housecleaning (yes, it has been identified as good for mental health), and other less-desirable vices, like smoking and drinking. And sometimes circumstances require special stress-busting or stress-avoiding measures. That is how my newborn haircut came to be.
It started with Liz, my first-born. I was finishing up university courses at the time and knew it would be a busy, challenging few months after she arrived. So I figured it was a good time to cut my long locks off. I ended up with an ugly, masculine, no-fuss haircut that didn’t suit me at all. But at the time I had no room for vanity in my life, so it worked.
Over the next few years I grew my hair long again. Then Katherine arrived and I had it shorn again. A pattern was developing.
But then the time between babies got longer. Katherine was six when Logan arrived, and she had only known a mommy with long hair. I remember vividly hopping into the car after getting a very short hair cut. Katherine, mommy’s girl, didn’t recognize me. The voice was familiar, but I was a stranger. She started to cry. Actually she cried sporadically for a few days. Her mommy was gone and this short-haired woman had something to do with it. And she had to cope with this drastic change plus a new baby brother.
Eventually Katherine came to accept the short-haired me, but to this day (nine years later) she still cringes when remembering the shock of seeing me so different.
As a toddler, Logan was equally sensitive. He went into hysterics when I applied some white make-up to my face for Halloween. Apparently, you’re not allowed to mess around with the kids’ concept of “mommy”.
Watching the news this week, I couldn’t help but remember these sad affairs and worry about poor Britney Spears’ children. Every newspaper and television broadcast talked about her drastic move this past week, shaving her head at a salon. Yes, she did the deed herself.
If my Katherine went into hysterics when short-haired mommy appeared, what is Brittany’s toddler to think when bald mommy comes back home?
The bottom line is: mothers of small children have to handle change carefully. My baby is eight now, and still not handling change (or the threat of change) so well.
He noticed when I put my new year’s resolution into action last month. He didn’t mind the first few days when I headed to the gym, but then he became worried. You see, he likes his mommy soft and cuddly, and has nicknames for me that reflect that preference.
He kissed me goodbye one day as I left for the fitness centre, and Liz noticed him standing at the door for a long while as I drove away, looking forlorn.
“What’s wrong Logan?” she asked gently. “You don’t like mom going to the gym?”
His expression said she was right. “No more ‘squishy momma’,” he lamented.
Yes, that is the plan.
